Friday, 6 January 2012

If I had a time machine...

So in the bath, I was reading 11.22.63 by Stephen King.  I always read in the bath because it's relaxing and warm which allows you to chill and forget whatever the hell is happening in your 'little fucked up life'.  This book is about a guy who has a friend with a worm hole in the pantry of his restaurant.  Crazy, I know but his isn't some 'classic' that little snot nosed pretentious nob-heads will be studying in the future (yep, I realise the irony in this and if you're with it), it's a book that is meant to be fun and exciting and it certainly is.  Because Jake sets off back in time to see if he can save JFK.  Only he doesn't know what effect this will have on time because of the butterfly effect and so starts off with trying to save someone of less importance: the janitor at the school he works at.  Right, I'm rambling.  The point I'm trying to get at is that Jake travels back to 1958...and it got me think what a fantastic time the 50s were.  In fact, how much better they were than the decades we have lived through.  I know, I know, I already sound like an OAP but it's true.  Look at a few comparisons.  This is America by the way, I'm sure England was just as rubbish back then as it is now.

1.  Teenagers:- Go and take the train into Manchester tomorrow and play 'spot the stereotype'.  It's a great game you play with friends that I have ingeniously made up.  The rules are simple: you look for a teenager fitting in with a stereotype and shout their stereotype at them (preferably so they can hear).  The person who spots the most stereotypes wins.  You'll spot loads of them out there:  Chavs, Emos, Scene Kids, 'Gangstas', Indie Kids, Metal-Heads etc etc.  But what do they all have in common?  They are all gimps.  'Oh I'm a teenager, I'm an individual!'  Give me a break, why does no one see the irony in that kids will try to show their 'individuality' by trying to fit in with a bunch of people just like them?  The point is, from what I've gathered from my extensive research on the subject (mainly the book and Grease) I've figured that there were only two stereotypes in the 50s: nerds and greasers.  And just look at the greasers.

They look awesome!  That guy doesn't take shit from anyone.  If I lived back then, let's face it, I'd be a nerd.  But I would ENJOY being beaten up by these guys!  There was a reason there were no Emo gimps, Scene gimps or idiot Chavs back then, they were all too scared to be seen in the shadow of these supermen!

2.  Technology (or lack there of):-  Yes, I know if I lived back then I wouldn't be able to write this, but the chances are I'd be out with friends and that's a lot better right?  People keep saying that technology is 'improving our lives' but is it really?  Everyone seemed to get on all right back then.  If they wanted a conversation with someone, they'd either have to go and sit next to one of those huge phone 'things' or get up and go and walk to that person's house.  And they would get to talk face to face with said person!  I know, fantastic.  Basically, everyone was a lot more sociable back then and that is a VERY good thing because we are all turning into stand offish bastards.  Okay, I WOULD miss my playstation (the 50s kids were definitely missing out on Skyrim) and my films (although saying that there were loads of good films in the 50s) but from what I gather from my sources, they didn't need all this stuff because everyone was well learned in the art of spontaneously breaking out into song and dance at any given moment and then having drag races.  That sounds more fun than Skyrim.  But only just.

3. Music:-Here's a sample of music from today:

And here is a sample of music from 1958:

I'm pretty sure you clever people can figure out what I'm trying to say.  But I'll spell it out for you chavs you have managed to stumble across this blog whilst looking for the latest 'I like to beat yo wife with yo dick' album: the second song is infinitely better than the first.  It's catchy, well written and, my God it makes you want to dance.  And I hate dancing.

4.  General Attitude:- 9/11 changed things.  There's no beating about the bush with that really; there is NO-ONE who gets on a plane who isn't slightly worried that there could be a terrorist on board who may want to blow them out of the sky.  And this is so so so SO tragic!  Because we are all living in fear of something that we don't know anything about.  To be fair, we have the right to be scared because these people don't discriminate so everyone is at risk.  However, it wasn't just 9/11 that changed things: our race is just a whole lot more cynical than it used to be.  Maybe it's some general consumerism like 'OMG that new iPhone57677 has come out, Daddy please buy it for me 'cuz it's all I want in the entire word' and the lust for material items.  I'm not criticising anyone here, I'm pretty much the same (although on a much smaller scale - I'm way more perfect then you will ever be), It's just how our society has evolved.  Now look back to the 50s.  There was a blissful ignorance that had engulfed everyone.  Sure, the Second World War had shaken everyone up and people were apprehensive about growing tensions with Russia but everyone was a whole more trusting.  People were friendlier and people would leave the house for the day and just chill and dare I say it, they would just have fun!  I'm not talking about parties here.  Yes they ARE fun, but when was the last time someone said to you, 'you know that abandoned house on Bramhall Lane South?  Let's go and explore it!'  To me, that sounds I whole lot more fun than a party.  People back then had more freedom and an attitude that was like 'do I give a fuck what he/she is doing?  Nope, I'll go and have fun the way I want because it would be EXCITING.'' And they had cool cars.

 So listen up.  Chill out!  Stick on some Chuck Berry and enjoy your life.  Go outside and get some fresh air, listen to the birds, have an actual *look* around you and don't take anything for granted.  And come and explore the abandoned house with me, seriously, I'm dying to check it out.  There's also a creepy abandoned hospital somewhere near the Trafford Centre.  Cool, huh? Or you could just disagree with everything that I believe and sit at home and masturbate all day.  Your call.
Have a good one

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