Thursday, 5 January 2012

Sexy Followers on Twitter part 2

Now that I've got some chemistry revision done, I've got a bath running and I'm settling down to watch one of my favourite horror films:  Eden Lake.  One of the only films to actually disturb me.  Check it out, honestly, it's great.  But yeh, now I have plenty of time to write the second part of this post.

4.  Sabina Reiter

Website:  I'd pretty much given up hope on Sabina when I saw this.  ''Oh no, another spammer playing on the stereotypical idea that all men are suckers for porn'', I thought.  But no, I glanced down to see this tweet:  ''We met, we talked, we flirted, I fell for you, I trusted you, you flirted with her, you ruined everything.  End of story.''  She's sensitive!  She's broken.  She just needs a guy like me to come along and sweep her off her feet.  I could be that man!  I was just about to click that link to see if there was any contact info but then I noticed one other tweet.  ''Why are men like lawn mowers?  They're hard to get started, emit foul odors and don't work half the time.''  Yup, obviously that bad relationship messed her up badly because she hates men.  She's a misandrist.  My heart broke.  Then I saw this and it was okay: ''It is always the wrong time of the month''.  We wouldn't last.  Also, if someone knows of any lawn mower post 1900 that emits foul odors, please let me know.

5.  Billye Panaro

'Billye', (if that is her real name) doesn't have the top of her head still intact, which is obviously a bit of a turn off.  Her website is: http://www.COEDS-BIGLOADS.INFO which isn't as explicit as some of the other links but I have a feeling that 'bigloads' means 'big penises'.  She only has three tweets but I'll focus on the first: ''Even if you don't sleep, this post is useless, and just shows someone who needs to get a life''.  Now, I'm not totally sure if Billye is insulting me or herself but I think it's a bit cruel for her to judge me without meeting me.  One thing is certainly clear, whether or not Billye has a top of a head, she certainly has no brain.

6.  Kath Parkman

Another small picture and that is a shame because this one is a stunner.  She's also mysterious and I like that in a woman.  Her only tweets are two from 'Mrs Stephen Fry' and yet she has 41 followers, which I find odd, she must be really popular at school.  She has no link, except some information: ''enchanted florist''.  Wow.  I have no idea what an enchanted florist is but I hope it's like a wizard that makes flowers magical.  How impressive.  So, I've actually fallen in love with Kath.  Not only is she unbelievably beautiful but she's intelligent too (how many enchanted florists do you know?) and the lack of tweets make me think of the quiet, calm type.  Anyhow, she can enchant my floristry any day.

And there you have it, my favourite six spam accounts on twitter.  I know, it's been one hell of a ride.  And no, I don't know why some lines have big spaces between one another.

***UPDATE*** Billye Panaro has unfollowed me on Twitter.  She has either decided that 1.  I do not what to look at 'big loads' or 2. She has typed her name into google and found this.  Insulted, she has run off to find the top of her head before trying to seduce other young men.  For future reference Billye, men usually like women with their *entire* head still intact.

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